Beauty and Other Things

Dear Body

Dear body,

I have not always been kind to you.

I’m sorry for hating you sometimes. For wishing I was taller, or thinner, or smaller. I’m sorry for trying to force you to take up less space than you deserve.

I’m sorry for only seeing your faults. I’m sorry for only seeing imperfections because I was seeking them out.

I’m sorry for expecting you to drive when you’re running on empty.

I’m sorry I didn’t pay attention to the strength of my legs that walked me to my favourite places or the skin that always scabbed over, trying to heal me (whether I wanted to be healed or not.)

I’m sorry for trying to determine your worth based on a number on a scale. You are worth much more than that.

I’m sorry for comparing you to other bodies, because you are mine and that is enough. I’m sorry for not realizing that both of our bodies are good. You are good. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for the pain I have caused.

I promise to love you.

I promise to give you the proper nutrients that you need to run, to grow, to survive.

Thank you to my heart – for keeping me alive. Thank you never giving up on me, and opening yourself up to love even after you were hurt. That’s a brave thing to do in this world.

Thank you for always fighting for me, even when I was fighting against you. Thank you for being resilient.

Thank you for being patient with me.

You are my home.

I promise I will take care of you.

I gently wrap my arms around my waist and say to my body “I’m sorry. I want to be your friend.”

My body sighs and says “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.”

In the United States, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from a clinically significant eating disorder at some time in their life.

If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder: Please visit here or here for more information about NEDA.

Know that there is hope. There is strength. There is future.

You are not alone.

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