I’ve been thinking a lot about choices.

How the smallest choices that we make during the day impact our lives. How all the little choices I’ve made have led me to be sitting here, writing this.

Otherwise known as the Butterfly Effect. The idea that a small change in the initial condition of a system results in large changes in later conditions.

I am imagining all the different lives I could have had.

There’s another life where I followed my best friend to New York when he moved. He works as an actor and I work as a journalist and we share a tiny apartment. It’s not much, but it’s home. We spend our days apart, trying to follow our dreams, and we come home and sit on the couch together. I am never lonely because my best friend is always there.

Another where I never moved back to Maryland. I live in Orlando and I’m working the job that I love, but I feel incomplete because I never got the degree that I was trying so hard to get. In this life, I never met my boyfriend because we never took that class together. I have friends from all over the country, and none of them know my mom or my sister, but they are kind and spend my days with me.

There’s a life where I’m an English teacher. The kids whisper that I’m strict but they know that I have helped them learn. Or the one where I’m a lawyer and I use my arguing skills for good. I help people. I make a difference to them. The one where I travel the world, the one where I try to become an actor, the one where I’m a sign language interpreter.

Then there is the one that I have. The one where I’m a college student, sitting at my desk, counting down the days till graduation. Working toward building a life back in Florida, the right way. My best friend lives far away but I never have to miss my siblings. I am close to home and I am comfortable.

I believe that the universe gives us exactly what we need when we need it.

I am happy where I am.

I just hope I’m making the right choices.

 

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